It’s been a reminiscent night of NY brought to me by a younger (skinnier 😜) Ai Weiwei #vscocam #aiweiwei (at Morris and Helen Belkin Art Gallery)

It’s been a reminiscent night of NY brought to me by a younger (skinnier 😜) Ai Weiwei #vscocam #aiweiwei (at Morris and Helen Belkin Art Gallery)

vscocam aiweiwei

One Sentence Reveals One Artist

It’s amazing how this bilingual guide identifies the most obvious but remarkable characters of some brilliant artists in art history through one simple sentence. Is it absurd? VERY!

However…I think the English for Rembrandt meant to say something like “If every portrait looks like a wanderer painted under candlelight, it’s Rembrandt.”

if everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.

如果画里的每个人都露着大屁股,一定是鲁本斯。

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If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it’s Caravaggio.

画里是大眼睛又卷毛的伪娘,那就是卡拉瓦乔。

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If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.

如果画里的人个个像残疾,那就是毕加索。

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If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.

画得就像嗑药High翻了之后看见的东西,那是达利

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If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.

画里背景黑漆马糊的,脸上表情极尽痛苦的,必是提香。

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If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.

画里有一坨坨小人儿,看起来还挺正常的话,是勃鲁盖尔

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If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.

画里有一坨坨小人儿,但还有一坨坨奇形怪状东西的话,波西

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If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.

如无论男女都是一副普京的脸,那是凡艾克

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If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.

如果画里的每个人都像小蜡烛下的流浪汉,那是伦勃朗

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If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.

如果画里总是成群的丘比特和绵羊,那是布歇

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If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.

如果画里总是出现俊男美女,还总人挤人,那是米开朗基罗

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If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.

看见芭蕾舞娘,请认准德加

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If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.

清一色的浓眉山羊胡女人,那是弗里达

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If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.

看物边缘锐利对比强烈,看人胡子拉碴憔悴不堪,还总透着点蓝色,是格列柯。

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Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.

似是而非的斑驳光线好像眼镜上起了一层雾,莫奈。

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Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.

斑驳的光线和Happy的人们,雷诺阿。

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Dappled light and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.

斑驳的光线和抑郁的人们,马奈。

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Lord of the Rings landscapes with weird blue mist and the same wavy-haired aristocratic-nose Madonna, it’s Da Vinci.

《指环王》般壮丽的背景,有着相同卷发和贵族式鼻子的圣母玛利亚总被蓝色迷雾笼罩着。达芬奇

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10022-shoe:

Introducing a Saks Exclusive: Hand-Painted Suede Ankle boots from Burberry Prorsum. The stunning design channels the classic desert boot, rendered with a peep toe for a decidedly modern approach, and perched on a hand-painted wooden platform and high heel. Exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue.